6MONTHS !!!…I’ve reached reached my first mini milestone in my journey.
Boy has it been a bumpy one with a few certain wrong turns along the way, but I can honestly say for now I’m smooth sailing…. but when I say smooth sailing I mean there are still days I want to jump ship & swim to shore, wave my white flag…or even give myself up to the the sharks. (Ok have you guessed I’m kidding).
For someone like me with an attachment complex to my hair (i.e. obsessed with length, dying it and then needing weave), I found the decision to go natural quite difficult. At one point I was 100% certain that having grown my hair to 16inches long there was no way I was going to just CUT IT ALL OFF…I mean, I used to pay for this kind of length!
But luckily, I did not go through my journey of discovery all alone… I had my beautiful baby girl with me along the way.
So let’s go back to the beginning of when I made my decision.
I had red & black ‘Natural’ hair at the time – only I wasn’t a real natural yet; in my mind back then ‘natural’ meant that I’d stopped wearing extensions.
Amazingly, I’d managed to get my hair to grow to a natural 16inch length after years of thinking my hair would not grow.
What was my secret?…Hairf..NOPE LOL! I simply stopped straightening my hair at home! I’d get it done when I went to the hairdressers and would not touch my hair inbetween.
I was quite lazy even when it came to relaxing my hair. I would relax only when I felt a few inches of regrowth and literally would try not to wash my hair for as long as possible… maybe every 6-8 weeks!
And even then I didn’t wash my own hair I HAD to go hairdressers! That process took forever so someone else had to do it for me.
Doing this meant that even though I had bleached the front of my hair nearly two years previously, it had caused basically no breakage and as I’m a perfectionist my colour was topped up every time I washed my hair.
It had gotten to the point where I was constantly asked is this my ‘Real Hair’ and I could proudly flick it while saying yes and even suggest they touch my scalp if they didn’t believe me.
Now in 2012 I had the most amazing news to share… I was expecting!
But what would I do with my hair?! After reading through pregnancy books it advised to avoid bleaching your hair all together (helloooooo roots).
And I know I received mixed answers when it came to relaxing.
Some women told me to stay away from it like a plague. Others had relaxed & had normal babies after pregnancy and heck! Even my hairdresser told me it’s more of an old wives tale and she did a lady with twins all throughout pregnancy.
So I decided, as I was a lazy relaxer anyways and already had a good few months of regrowth before I found out I was pregnant, that I would relax once I was past 12 weeks.
And in April 2013…I had my last relaxer.
I knew I didn’t want to do it again whilst pregnant.
In May 2013 I found out I was having a baby girl (Just what I had my fingers crossed for), and something clicked in me.
I needed to be able to look after my own natural hair especially if I was going to have a lil girl.
I had no idea what kind of hair my daughter would have as me and her father are both mixed raced…what if I couldn’t ‘handle’ her hair?
Her father and I both had curly hair and I was worried my child would come out with ‘Black’ Hair’ as I ignorantly knew it to be referred to then.
I assumed that she would more then likely have ‘tough hair’ and her Dad would be the one mostly doing her hair (as he is very good at cornrows, he did mine during the end of my pregnancy lol).
My daughter was born with a full head of straight brown hair…I was shocked so much hair I fell in love with it straight away.
Over the next few months her curls started to creep in.
I cut my hair when she was 7months and that’s where the Love for Natural hair really started.
I was washing my hair one evening; at this point I had 14months of regrowth under my maternity belt and doing my hair had now become a luxury being a new mum.
I would often get my partner to braid it for me, I went back to the hairdressers once but having two textures of hair and somebody else dragging a comb through it was too painful.
So anyways here I was in the middle of washing my hair and I had an afro with straight bits…it looked awful.
I looked at my regrowth curls in the mirror…’Wow’, I thought ‘they actually looks like curls now , not regrowth frizz.’
Hastily I picked up some hair scissors and before I knew it I had snipped a piece of hair I thought was Incognito.
A lil curl sprung back. ‘Eeeeek, how exciting,’ I thought, ‘but I cant leave this curl without a friend.’
Needless to say I got scissor happy and messaged my boyfriend to tell him I might have a short chunk of hair from now on.
He told me I might as well keep going and I think that’s what I was waiting for… confirmation that it was okay to cut my hair off.
I asked would he help me when he got back and he agreed.
OMG I DID IT IM FREEEE.
But now what do I do?
I’m not going to lie that night I wanted to cry my eye’s out… my hair was gone, I felt like I looked like a boy.
Reading up on Natural hair and watching my fave youtubers really helped me cope with my daughter’s hair so it was like I had perfectly timed it.
For a while my daughters hair could be left to do its own thing, but her big curls became slightly tighter & her hair was growing At such a fast rate… I did not know babies could have so much hair; most babies her age were still pretty much bald!
As I became aware of hair typing… I classed myself as a 3c.
I wasn’t too sure what my daughters hair would be like as I thought babies’ hair can change quite a lot.
Months later I could see her hair pattern mirroring mine, except her hair seems a bit finer.
She was a 3c too.
Sometimes looking at my daughter’s hair made me fall more in love with my own.
Soon enough I had to start washing her hair too but correctly.
I basically did something very similar to my routine but with natural products and always made sure I finger detangled.
My routine took a lot of trial and errors… constantly watching videos further down the line didn’t seem to help; I just kept wanting to tweek my routine or try a new product.
I also got frustrated as my hair does not seems to like or hold a protective style at all – it much prefers the WNG -whereas my daughter’s hair can hold these styles really well for days and look amazingly flawless.
The key to my hair growth will always be simplicity I think. I:
– Shampoo or Cleanse
– Hair Mask
– Condition & Detangle
– Section add BCO & more conditioner
– Deep Condition with heat
– Rinse & then do LCO method
Once every two weeks….if I need to I will WNG with just conditioner in between.
My daughter has a very sensitive scalp so she gets her hair oiled every morning with a mix me and her dad made in an applicator bottle of olive oil, coconut oil & raw shea butter – it seems to be doing the world of difference.
I can already see how much my daughter is into hair; I will catch her feeling her
hair once it’s styled, playing with her curls and when we both have big curly styles she will touch her hair then mine.
Sometimes she attempts to brush it too ha.
I will always teach my daughter to love her hair and that her hair comes from her mommy and daddy who love her very much, so regardless of what anybody could negatively say she has traits from two special people in her life and nobody can ruin that.
Will I ever straighten her hair? HELL NO!
Will I ever let her straighten her hair? Chemically No, but she can do what ever she likes with her hair… when she turns 18!
I will advise & give her all the best information on the subject but the decision will be her own and I will support what she chooses to do regardless.
Will I ever straighten my hair again? For now NO. Heat is not my friend; currently It does not even like a diffuser, so I’m an Air Dry kind of girl.
I would like to straighten once a year once I have reached my goal of lower back length? …MAYBE.
So I’ve got a few years to see how I feel then! But I will never relax my hair again, that’s for sure.
I would love to return to colour, however in a year or two…I haven’t completed the rainbow yet lol.
But I’m so happy I am able to do my daughter’s hair without causing her discomfort or damaging her hair.
Her Daddy is still the best for her braids but that’s something I’m working on.
We Will Keep You Posted =]
Love Apple & her lil Apple Seed x