It’s been a really long time since the last #MenOnNaturalHair response, but I love reading them, so keep them coming! A few months ago, I asked you all to respond to the two questions I asked in my original video (watch it here). Bolu (@_bnoelle) who you may recognise from this street style post, sent in her response to the two questions below:
1. Do men treat you differently when you have natural hair?
2. Would you change your hair for a man?
1) I think the differences in the way I am treated with different hairstyles are very subtle. What’s more notable is the type of men who approach me. When I wear my hair natural, or in curly crotchet braids or twists, I am approached with maturity and respect, and sometimes by older men. I prefer being spoken to this way, as it isn’t aggressive or intimidating. I also, get called “Queen”, “Mama Africa” and the funniest one was “Cinderella”. Although I have never been disrespected, I have never been referred to as any of the above when I wear my hair straight.
However, I do believe the differences are not only due to hair, as I notice differences in men‘s approach through the way I dress or my make up, for example. It’s as though men assume you are always dressing for their entertainment when you have heels on! Again, the approach has been more respectful and pleasurable without the heels and dress.
2) In a relationship, it’s clearly essential to show and give love regardless of outwards appearance. I would consider wearing my hair in a certain style more frequently if my partner took a liking to it. I consider this pretty similar to me commenting that I like his beard or something.
It’s probably important to note that I wouldn’t do something as drastic as relaxing or permanently heat damaging my natural hair for his appraisal- that would be a little over the top.
All in all, in the case of changing hairstyles for a man, an issue would only arise if I was made to feel uncomfortable or less attractive when not wearing the given style he liked.
In any kind of relationship, I don’t agree with any actions or comment that make an individual feel less worthy.
Thank you Bolu! If you would also like to get involved, please leave your comments, do a youtube response or email me your answers to the questions at firstname.lastname@example.org.