#MenOnNaturalHair

Del: What I think of natural hair

“Do men like natural? Do they like weave?” Before you ask that question, you have to realise that it’s a trap.

1. I cannot speak for the entirety of my gender. I’m not a spokesman for men, that’s stupid.
2. Does a man really know the difference? Like really?

del

I feel like most have heard the phrase “i like my women natural”, but what are they really using as a frame of reference? A real good weave and a really good relaxer is supposed to be Flawless. ‘Beyonce’ Flawless. So good that you’re sure it’s natural. So when men claim that they love natural is that because they are thinking of a noticeably bad weave and really nappy hair as the opposing choice?

Relaxed hair or wearing weave is supposed to be so good you think it’s natural anyway. I shouldn’t be able to tell if it’s done correctly. So me saying “I’m less attracted to women who have unnatural hair” is pointless. Since I’m not supposed to know.

The issue really becomes my problem if I’m in some form of relationship with that woman. Frankly, it’s none of business whether I think you should be natural or not until we’re together.

So now we’ve got that caveat out the way, my personal preference is:

I do not like unnatural hair in a relationship.

If this somehow upsets or offends you. You’re being ridiculous. You don’t have to marry me. I’m just one person who has a preference. It isn’t a measure of your self worth. Letting one man’s opinion affect your self image is not cool.

The term Natural hair in my mind simply means, you don’t relax it or put a weave in. One reason I have an issue with ‘Unnatural’ is that me not being allowed to touch your hair is a restriction I don’t really want to choose. Also; it’s a temporary promise that you can’t make permanent. If we are together, How long will your hair look like that? What happens when your hair breaks or when you just don’t have the time or patience to continue this look? What if I want to swim in the ocean with you? Why do I have to accept that the face I look at daily is framed by something that isn’t real? Why are you patting your head?

Let’s compare false breast implants and a weave. Which one of those is a lot more temporary once the procedure is done, but yet one has the stigma of fakeness and the other is forced upon me as if I should respect it.

Another reason I have an issue with it is Pride. More specifically Your Pride. If your hair is an imitation of a texture that you cannot naturally grow, are you telling me that your confidence comes from that instead of from yourself? Are you telling me that you’re not truly comfortable with your natural self? If I were very dark skinned and I chose to wear white make up when I go out, is that unnatural image terribly different? That’s a rhetorical question by the way, I don’t know the answer to that.

If it comes down to attraction, then what happens if the man you meet is attracted to your unnatural hair but hates your natural hair? Is he not the wrong man for you if the quality of your weave or the strength of your relaxer is the deciding factor as to whether he thinks you are worthy of his time?

Maybe none of this matters. Maybe the truth is that ridiculous superficial standards by both genders is pointless. Maybe when you meet someone you really want to be with, you are gonna accept any part of them.

I like natural hair and I have my reasons, but so what? I’m not you. Do what you want. You owe men nothing. Maybe just consider that perhaps they have an opinion about natural hair that you don’t like, but that’s life.

Be you. I just prefer a more natural you.”

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